Oh Boy!!! Questions, You Can't Get Right!

I bet you won’t get the answers right ;)

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!' 

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his Questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. 
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' 
Boy.: '9'. 

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' 
Boy.: '36'. 


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. 
Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed. 

Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'? 
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.' 
Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?' 

Boy.: 'Pockets.' 
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, 
Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? 
Boy.: Coconut 

Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? 
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. 
Boy.: Bubblegum 

Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? 
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.. 
Boy.: Shake hands 
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. 
Boy.: Tent 
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. 
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. 
Boy.: Wedding Ring 

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. 
Boy.: Nose 
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. 
Boy.: Arrow 

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? 
Boy.: Fire truck 
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand. 
Boy.: Fork 
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? 
Boy.: SURNAME. 

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ? 
Boy.: HEART. 
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, 
'Send this Boy to 
Cambridge University 
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'

All about marriage...Funny Quotes

Every man should get married some time; after

all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! -Anonymous



An archaeologist is the best husband a woman

can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

--Agatha Christie

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than other.

--Oscar Wild



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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison

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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give

You for free. --Anonymous

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Bachelors know more about women than married

men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

--H. L. Mencken


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Men have a better time than women; for one

thing, they marry later; for another thing,

they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken

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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2

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Marriage is a three ring circus:

---engagement ring

---wedding ring

---suffering

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone

knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone

wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

When a man opens the door of his car for his

wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife..

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?

"She said, "Somewhere I have never

been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours

That was only for the estimate.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the

street I yelled, "No, jump in!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he

refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding ring

look too much like miniature handcuffs... .."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

If your dog is barking at the back door and

your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you

let in first?

The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

A man placed some flowers on the grave of is

dearly departed mother and started back toward his car

when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling

at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound

intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to

die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir,

I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but

this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen

before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A

parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself,

then replied, "My wife's first husband."



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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband

leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned

over too much, fell into the well, and

drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but

then smiled "It really works!"

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman

He loves.

After marriage, he earns for the woman he loves.



"I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand"

Couldn't stop laughing - Spider Drawing worth $233.95

I foolishly took a swig of my coke before reading the part where he asked for his second drawing back. It came out my nose.




It sold for $10,000!!!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190265903424

Before & After marriage

Before Marriage

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!

After marriage... Simply read from bottom to top.
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Acceleration from 0 to 100

Click the photos to Enlarge

A wife mentioned to her husband that for her birthday, she would like something that accelerated from 0 to 100 in four seconds. She was expecting something like this...

But her husband presented her with something different...

The husband is in a critical but stable condition in ICU!